See those tiny boxes in the upper right corner there? The username/password stuff? Well, they're not hooked up to anything yet, but they will be soon. Looking for a good time? Verylowsodium.com will give you that good time you so very much desire!
We don't want to give out usernames to just anyone. We have to weed out the riff-raff. You might be good, but are you Verylowsodium.com good? Look, I slave my ass off updating this website a few times a year. The least you can do is display irrational exuberance.
Send your two hundred twenty six word essay on the subject of "why I should be a TENS AND TENS early adopter" to firstname.lastname@example.org. Remember, neatness counts!
I'll send it back with an arbitrary and unfair list of things that need to be changed. You correct it and send it back. After an indeterminate number of these rounds, you'll be granted a temporary Verylowsodium.com account and access code, which will unlock the entrance puzzles. Hope you have a strong puzzle-solving background!
Complete these and you will be sent the official user request form (in a 7z-compressed pdf) which you must print on high quality cotton-blend paper and complete in blue ink, and send it back (along with three photocopies) to my post office box. I will email you a 48-hour window in which I might call your supplied phone number. If you answer the phone (voicemail doesn't count) then you've advanced to the interview stage!
Think you've got what it takes? Join TENS AND TENS today! (Well, not today. The whole process might take a month or two. But get started today!)
Thanks to terra for the pyokoriffic überhosting.
I can be reached at email@example.com.
Contents copyright 2006 Greg Falcon.
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 2.5 License.