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Verylowsodium


delivering powerful diversions and ASCII noses via hypertext transfer protocol since 2001

Letters


Welcome back. My dreams were my ticket out.
Welcome back. To that same old site that we talked about.
Well the colors have changed since you hung around
But the flash, it remained, and it... came...

Okay, so I don't really have anywhere I'm going with those lyrics. Anyway, yeah, after a few years off, maybe I should pull a few letters out of the old cult mailbox. If you'd like to get in on the fun, the letters page email address is cult@verylowsodium.com.

Subject: Hmm.

I saw your LJ entry and just found myself somewhat compelled to write this e-mail. Have you perhaps discovered the <lj mind-control> tags? I really don't have nothing to say, except uh, Hi, and, why do I lose connection to saltteddy sometimes D:

Arcturus

I in fact did, but in case you missed it, here's the relevant documentation straight from livejournal.com:

FAQ Question #151

How do I use mind-control?

Mind control can be activated by typing <lj mind-control>. When placed in a livejournal entry, the colors of the individual letters in your post are tweaked1to create a subliminal effect that makes your posts seem more relevant and meaningful. For best results, you should only post in your LiveJournal once every six months, as repeated usage of this tag severly limits its effectiveness.

So, you know, glad to see that worked.

And though probably only three readers know what saltteddy is, it's going away. Sorry.

Next up is the kind of stuff I've come to expect in the letters section.

Subject: tortillas

dear veloso, have you seen my tortillas?

   sincerely
    xbrandonx
        ont can

Now that I live in Boston, I need to make a trip to ont can sometime. It'd be nice to say I've been to both Mexico and Canada, plus I want to get my hands on more of this guy's bread. Because when I think tortillas, I think Canada.

Finally, some sad news.

Subject: Santa called.

He told me he was going to eat you.

I want a cult. BUT I'M JUST A COMPUTER.

LIAR! THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS COMPUTERS.

Until next time, folks.


Footnotes


  1. I chose this word partly because I thought my girlfriend Nic would like it. Hi, sweetie!

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I can be reached at veloso@verylowsodium.com.

Contents copyright 2006 Greg Falcon.

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