delivering powerful diversions and ASCII noses via hypertext transfer protocol since 2001


(My Verylowsodium it's-okay-to-put-what-I-write-on-your-page address is cult@verylowsodium.com.)

So I've received a third letter now. This is good, because I get to delete the older ones soon. When hiding a secret identity, it's better not to flaunt it.

The latest comes from Fox. (Not the network.)

Subject: Go outside

Go outside and do something for God's Sake.


You know what the w in dwf stands for? Wayne! Ain't that a hoot?

(What did you expect? The obvious comment about him typing that on a computer that's presumably indoors?)

This next one comes from lipid.



The Australians are so damned insightful, aren't they? :-)

Finally, the contriversial yenrab one (note the lowercase y, which means this is NOT a holy roller):

Subject: Cheap nonsensical substitute for content

Dr. Falken,

I can't help but wonder if anyone else has noticed the strange, almost downright eerie similarity between the usage of capitalization on VEryLOwSOdium and the capitalization of the late GRegory JAnson. Coincidence? I think not.

How are you going to explain yourself out of this one?


Veloso writes:

Heh, that's an interesting conspiracy theory, though on pretty shaky and questionable grounds. Here, let me give you a better line of thought to consider:

I and the "Greg Janson" of MZX fame have always been one and the same. It worked out exceptionally well, because except for the first week or two, nobody expected a thing.

I mean, the obvious stuff is there: I was a programmer in both identities, I've always hated sharing the source code to anything I do, and I've always had a strange obsession with hentai. (Which admittedly I hid pretty well after the change. "Falcon" gave "Janson" a hard time quite a bit; my big complaint was "I registered", which was really a dig to try to make most of the channel regulars feel guilty for not registering. It didn't work... I only received one registration after my "resignation".)

I decided to do the switch over late in the development of MZX 3. I told everyone that it would be ready when it was ready, but that wasn't enough for everyone. I got so sick and tired of the constant letters, mostly from assholes WHO NEVER REGISTERED MZX IN THE FIRST PLACE... that I eventually just said "fuck this" and quit coding completely. I handed off the "Janson" identity to one of my hentai chat room friends who was suffering from personal problems and who wanted to hide out from his old online identity (unfortunately, these private sexual issues got out anyway, and under the Janson name instead of his name -- I'll keep the new Janson's "real" identity secret out of consideration for my friend), and never touched it again. I kept my old e-mail address to reply to all MZX messages. My replies were brief when I even bothered to mess with it.

What's really funny about all that was that I telegraphed my true identity to everyone in such a way where it was so blatant, nobody would seriously consider the possibility. I started off with a week of scoping out the channel as a "newbie", even going so far as to send around a really lame two room Zelda knock-off to people to throw them off the track, but then I went full force, putting out another ludicrously bad game with such blatant hints as calling myself a "MegaZeux Superstar" and even going so far as to say "I'm Gregory Falcon, not Gregory Janson, get it right" in the credits. (Superstar was the first time I ever put a real self-portrait online.)

The only person I think who really suspected my true identity was Legendd, who snatched me up into AD the day after the clue-laiden MZX Superstar came out. I think the only reason he "hired" me because he thought I was Janson; he asked me on two separate occasions after the fact if I was Janson and I always told him no. But then I made the FMV scene. This is the most hilarious part of all -- MZX 3 had a bitmap-to-tile feature built in, and I used that to do all of the conversion stuff! This is the real reason why I could never even show anyone else the source code; it was pretty well mixed in with the rest of MZX, and anyone else who's seen the source will back me up that at this point in time, it was a jumbled mess.

Luckily I no longer deal with the Janson mail -- I've handed that all off to the person who's assumed the Janson name. It was his idea to release MXZ under GPL. I wouldn't have done that at first, but when he suggested it to me later I thought it was probably a good idea (and I always made a source image with each released version, so I had perfect source code to give for such a fiasco). Not only would it finally put the "Janson" MZX identity completely to rest, but I also suspected that nobody would do anything significant with the source, and I was right. I'm now back in the same channels with my same friends, with another assumed identity that of COURSE I'm not going to reveal here.

All hilarious, because there have been two "Janson"s, neither of them real. For what it's worth, Falcon is my real surname. Janson is and always was a pseudonym to hide my RL identity from everyone. Come on, I was a young teenager, and paranoid.


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I can be reached at veloso@verylowsodium.com.

Contents copyright 2006 Greg Falcon.

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Putting such blatant in-jokes on my website seemed like a much better idea in 2001, when only five people ever visited.
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